Rooster Rant

In our yard there lives a rooster. A real rooster. But not just any rooster. We have a mentally challenged rooster that is the spawn of Satan himself. At first it was funny. Strange. Amusing. Now it is horrifying. Terrible. Makes me think evil thoughts.

The rooster first appeared in our neighborhood in February. My Dad and I were driving home from Publix and Dad said "Is that a rooster under that car?" as he pointed to the driveway at the end of our street. And yes, yes indeed, it was a rooster...in South Nashville...nowhere near farmland...under a Range Rover. Since that day we have had more than one nighttime temperature below freezing and multiple severe storms, some that caused major damage in neighboring areas. But Satan's Spawn is strong. He remains. He is not one to be brought down by simple acts of nature.

I fed him once, I think in March. I gave the turd some old bread, I didn't invite him to move in. But I think he misunderstood my intentions. For a few months now he has inhabited the magnolia bush that grows two stories high between our house and the neighbor's. And I hate him. I hate him so much that I am rethinking my anti-hunting, anti-gun outlook.

This brings us to the animal's clearly diminished mental capacity. Maybe its just a story we tell our children, that roosters crow when the sun rises. But my stupid rooster starts his cockle-doodle crap at about 3:30 every morning and then, as though he has a snooze button, 'goes off' every 10-20 minutes for a couple of hours. Seriously. Every morning. Right outside my bedroom window. Could it be possible that I am not sleep deprived enough?!? Are you kidding me?

Animal control has been called but they can't catch him. We've tried to chase him away. I no longer put out bird seed. The neighbors trimmed the bush. We talk smack about him all day long. A crazy dude who lives across the street chased the stupid bird for hours trying to hit him with a snow brush...really??? I even tried to run him over with my car. Satan is strong. His spawn is resilient and not easily defeated. And now he is punishing me by pacing on my back fence crowing until his throat his hoarse and pooping all over the swingset. This is not a normal problem to have. My life is entirely too busy and chaotic to deal with this sort of ridiculousness. Fried chicken anyone?

Seriously...there is a rooster in my yard...and I hate him.

Just for fun...

I'm not feeling all that witty. I hurt my back lifting fat-boy-fluffer-nutter. But I thought you'd enjoy some pictures...

Poor Parker. This lovely pink puffed sleeve with fur jacket is from Hailey's Snow Princess Build A Bear. Next comes the pink toenails.
But darn he's cute...and secure in his masculinity I'm sure.

Sometimes its hard to poop after oatmeal.

And totally exhausting. Yes, this is how he sleeps. Face covered- check. Toys in crib- check. Its always safety first around here. But look at his feet, how cute is that?!?

Moving on to Hailey Beth. These pictures crack me up. This was during an especially silly tub time.

Doesn't even look like her, but I love the hair- looks like mine after a good rain and some serious humidity :)

Hailey's friend Kathleen had a princess b-day party. All the girls had to dress the part.

But when we got home, the real party started!! Ahhh, Flashdance, here she comes.

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I leave with you with a story by Hailey...

And an interpretive dance...

Crying it Out

In honor of my friend Erica, I feel inspired to blog about "Crying it Out"...

Parker was a great sleeper until we moved him into his crib in his own room a few months ago. In his cradle he slept soundly, 7 hours, no waking up. Then he moved into his room, across the house from our room, and there was no more sound sleeping. In its place there was screaming, hollering, restlessness, hunger, kicking, hysteria. Very bad trade. Lots of walking across the house for binking, feeding, snuggling, rocking, tucking in, and frustration. Lots of it. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF IT! I work the night shift and then sleep the next day, but never for long enough. And I wasn't sleeping at night. So very very tired. And, I will admit, rather grumpy.

Last week Jona decided we needed to let Parker "cry it out." He is old enough to sleep through the night. He isn't really hungry, just spoiled. He doesn't really want to be soothed by anything other than the boob, which brings us back to me being completely exhausted since I am the only one around here with the right equipment. We never let Hailey cry anything out. Everyone said it was because we were first time parents, but really I'm just not the cry it out kind of mama. Its hard for me to commit myself to letting my child be unhappy when I know I can fix the problem. But I was tired. I mean really really tired. The kind of tired that leaves you in a fog and has you waking up in the morning with a yawn. So I agreed.

I work Monday nights, so last Monday was Parker's first night of self soothing. Jona said he did well, I think he turned the monitor off. Either way, he survived the night and was smiling in his crib when I got home in the morning. Tuesday night I had to participate. And no, I was not committed. But I was tired, beat down, and LORD KNOWS I needed some sleep. So I did it, I let him cry. It was not easy. Jona says he needs to "cry is out" all casually like its no big deal. Let me tell you, it is one very big deal to this mamasita. Its an uphill battle. Both ways. In the snow. Barefoot. Seriously. But the Little Man did surprisingly well. Only woke up twice. The first time was 10 minutes, only 5 of which was crying, then he was just pissed off. The second time was only 5 minutes of anger and then joyous sleep.

So its been a week and a half. That is 10 nights of NOT walking across the house to self soothe the baby who can do it himself. 10 nights of sleep, glorious sleep.

So Erica, it works. And it gets better. And its worth it.

Now Hailey wakes us up to sleep in our bed ....@#$%&*!!!

Portrait Innovations

Last weekend we had portraits taken of the kids at Portrait Innovations. They are all TOO cute! And thus, we spent TOO much money :) How could we possibly resist these faces??

(sorry I can't flip this, just turn your computer sideways!)

Things that Hailey says that make Jona VERY nervous...

Conversation at the dinner table...

Hailey: "Gotta go, the boys are requesting me."

Jona: "What?"

Hailey: "The boys are requesting me, they want me to go to work."

Jona: "They want you to go to work?"

Hailey: "Yep, they want me to go to work and spin, and spin, and spin like a bee."

Maybe we shouldn't listen to FloRida anymore, perhaps she understands more of the Apple Bottom Jeans song than I think.

Take me away...

Two weeks ago, Hailey and I took a vacation. We only traveled 10 miles south, but it was a much needed reprieve. Jona had traveled every week for the four weeks prior to our escape, and not having had a real night of sleep since Parker was born, I was on the edge...of reason, of a meltdown, of my sanity. Hailey has been in prime three year old form as of late, (I mean that as both a good and hideously terrible thing) and we were having a tough time getting along with each other. So I decided we needed a vacation. So I found a great deal at a nearby hotel and off we went.

There was a fabulous king size bed covered in a down comforter with a multitude of fluffy, feather filled pillows, but she liked "exercising" on the floor with these. Whatever works.

Jona and Parker drove us down and played for a little bit before we had our girls night out.

We had a little photo shoot on the bed. I mean seriously, do you just love this face??

The main reason I chose this particular hotel was the INDOOR POOL!!! Parker looked mighty fine in his surfer dude attire.

And Hailey is pretty cute herself. Gotta love that face too :)

In the elevators the floors were filled with oily stuff so when you stepped on them you left a print. Totally entertaining for young and old alike.

The pool room had one wall that was solid windows to the great, incredibly freezing, totally nasty outdoors. It was in the 30s I think, and raining and gross. But we were warm and toasty and very humid. They had this awesome half circle chair/couch with this huge wicker back. I took a lot of pictures on it. I love the way Parker is checking out his big sister in this one. He thinks she is the coolest kid ever to walk the planet earth. She doesn't have to do anything but be in the room with him and he laughs hysterically. It will be interesting to see how that plays out in later life. She is a rather cool chick.

Parker's first dip. And he loved it. Kicked his feet, flapped his arms, had a grand ole time. His skin didn't like it very much I'm sad to say, but that is what Aquafor is all about.

Dang we're cute!

Why am I the only one looking at the camera in every picture with my children??

Post swim play time must always involve one's feet. I can't even touch my toes and he can suck on his.

Put a fork in him, he is D-O-N-E! The Little Man slept for 4 hours after his swim. Gotta love the pool.

And Hailey and I were left to our own devices. In her lap is a container of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream, and a strawberry-banana smoothie. Dessert of champions. We munched out and watched The Tale of Despereaux on our flat panel tv hanging on the wall. Adorable movie. When it was over, no nap girl was ready to fall on her face. I tucked her in and snuggled next to her and watched her quickly fade out. She slept like a rock...directly in the middle of the bed.

This is Hailey after a great night of sleep....

and mommy after my first night of uninterrupted slumber in who knows how many months between being pregnant and having to tinkle every 2 hours, to then waking up with Parker. Dear lord it felt good. Hailey took this one, not too shabby. But seriously, what is it going to take to get rid of the circles under my eyes??

We swam again that morning and played a little before Hailey's meltdown over having to check out. If we're being honest, I had a little meltdown too, I just didn't let the people in the lobby see it!
And one of Parker's newest tricks...

TA DAAAAAA!! Goodness gracious this boy is cute.

PS- We went for his 6 month check up this week and he is now 26 1/4 inches and 16 lbs 13.5 oz. Not such a little man anymore.

Big Man

Parker is growing so quickly it is amazing. I thought time flew by with Hailey, but this is ridiculous. I swear it was just yesterday that he was a newborn and we were struggling to get into a routine with a new addition. Now he is almost 6 months old! Crazy.

He outgrew his baby tub and now gets to splish splash in Hailey's tub. She isn't so sure about sharing that space with him, so last night she jumped in too. I think she feels better now that she realizes that he only gets about 2 inches of water and no toys!

We brought the exer-saucer down about a week ago and he loves it! I would say Parker's only complaint is that he can't get all the gadgets in his mouth.

We started oatmeal last week and it is NOT going well. Please note the tongue thrusting in all these pictures. I really don't think a single grain has been swallowed!

The third night we tried it, Parker discovered his tongue. Now he just sticks it out when he sees the spoon coming and creates a blockade of sorts. I think we will give up for a little bit, stick with the boob juice for now, and try again in another week. I mean, obviously the kid ain't starving (please refer back to the thigh rolls in the first picture!!).